New Year Checklist

1. Don’t stay in any place that you don’t fit in, that makes you uncomfortable, that keeps you small. Don’t stay in any state of mind that does that, either. Go after the things you want, actively wondering, continually reassessing, with constant self-assurance and patience.
2. Forgive yourself for any action, thought or part of yourself that you find inadequate or out of character; that being said, be restless in improving whatever is within your power and what you find really matters.
3. Remember that it’s ok to want to spend time by yourself, to want to spoil yourself from time to time, to want to forget about the world for a while. Your true self sometimes needs a wider space to manifest itself and maybe a little more time. That’s alright.
4. Remember to stay as far as you can from negative, toxic people. They will always try, consciously or not, to transfer some of their negativity to you. If you can make their day a bit easier, if you can help them gain a new perspective – then by all means, do it. But don’t let them get to you in any way, bringing you down. We are all fighting our own battles, and it’s only when they are ready to see the light that it will reveal itself to them.
5. Exercise and eat well. It’s a cliché maybe, but a healthy mind won’t stick around for long in a sickly body. There are small things you can do, small steps you can take. Just take them, one at a time.
6. Be open to more love, of any kind. Give it space to grow, give it patience. Let it do its numbers on you. Let it change you. Where negativity destroys, love nurtures. And if it ends up hurting, remember that at the end of all that hurt your soul will be much wider, your structure much solid, your understanding much deeper. Hurt from love is purifying, reinforcing, don’t avoid or fear it.
7. Be a good friend, a good child. Give a bit more of yourself; be a bit more open, more attentive, more generous. You’ll find that happiness lies most often in giving, in shared laughter, in confessed secrets. Everything else is hardly worth chasing.
8. Remember that it’s ok to fail sometimes, but only if you really, really tried. Give your all, even when it’s hard as hell. Live with intent, with purpose. Make sure your mark is left on everything you touch, your feelings known, your voice heard.
9. Be brave, kind soul. Fight to discover where your perfectly arranged atoms fit best, make yourself proud and seek as little exterior validation as possible.
10. Have loads of fun, try to find enjoyment in as many ways as possible. Give a chance to new places, surround yourself with interesting people, accumulate experiences rather than things. Youth and strength are limited and I want you to look back knowing it was all a beautiful adventure, a beautiful effort.

Create things

From my point of view, the mindset of "being a financier means you are not allowed to be creative" is just deadly wrong. Being creative gives me so much the feeling of "achieving", which helps me release stress.

1. "My life story"

I learned to use Photoshop when I was 13 and bought the first semi-pro camera when I was 19. At the age of 13, I was addicted to manga and there was a manga drawing trend in Vietnam at that time. Many youngsters made group, created content and started drawing manga. There was even a famous magazine sponsored by Phan Thi Co. (the publisher of Than Dong Dat Viet) which was a platform for young artists to showcase their works and learn from each others.

Not knowing much about drawing techniques, the discussion on the magazine made me think that if I know Photoshop, my drawings will be way more better than the shit I created. I came to my first course of Photoshop because of this thought. I got nothing about manga drawing techniques from two courses but how you can edit a photo, color a grayscale photo, make it look real, adjust color and exposure in a photo. Barely I knew how to apply these into drawing.

At the age of 19, still being a teenager, I was impressed by the wedding photography business, by how they set up concept and create a photo album. To me, it was so easy to get money of a couple by taking those pictures. That's why I insisted that investing in a camera would bring me money. Till now, there are many friends of mine who started the photography career one or two years after I bought the camera stay with this. They earn money and keep upgrading lens and camera model. My camera remains the same model. I couldn't earn money from photography.

2. The feeling of achieving

I love my camera though, I love doing retouch after having a photo taken. It's not for the sake of money. It's for the sake of myself.

I don't know from when I like to travel around, take landscape photo. Every time I look back on my photos, I know exactly what I felt at that moment. The feeling is just so strong that I think I can touch it by hands.

I don't say I took amazing photos. I mean my photos are like words you wrote in your diary, songs or poems you wrote to express the feeling.

In the conference in Switzerland, the chair asked delegates to think about their achievements, then share with someone they didn't know before. He said that would create a secure atmosphere for who had just came to the venue without knowing others so well. The question raised doubts as at eighteen, twenty something, not many people think about the achievements and maybe one's achievements seem mediocre for others, etc.

I shared about the photography things with a girl because as I said, I had a very strong feeling when I took photos and when I looked back on these. She shared with me about her drawings and the same feeling when she draws something. The moment we shared was like I was talking to a soulmate even we didn't catch up later on in the conference and after that.

Today, I read a post about creativity. I can't illustrate the feeling I have towards the power of creating things. I can't sharpen it to a lesson but I can share how I feel about this.

As I learned of the complexity of creative thinking and the different ways it can be experienced, explored, and captured, I began to reform my pursuit into less about what creativity is and more of how we can utilize it more in our lives. Being creative isn’t about being more artistic, it’s about solving problems, expanding our potential, and doing more with our ideas in order to influence the world around us.

There’s an old saying that goes: “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.”

But if you give someone who is hungry right now the option to either go learn how to fish or to take the fish you already have, they will almost always pick the easier option.

Creativity is the same way.

Don’t strive to be an artist, designer, writer, or dancer. Your energy is better spent developing the ideal behaviours and habits of those roles.

Who is a writer but someone who writes, edits, and publishes? A dancer is someone who dances. An architect designs buildings. Yes, but the effort to fill those roles isn’t enough. And by approaching your passion as a means to an end (to become a writer, or an artist, or entrepreneur), the journey will be more challenging and ill-defined than if you focused on pursuing the habits of those roles.

Rather than asking yourself: “Who do I want to be?” Ask: “How do I want to behave?”

I think focusing your attention (and efforts) on the specific traits and behaviours of your ideal, creative self, you enable yourself to become the most realistic and empowered version of that identify. It also means you don’t have to pretend in order to get there. You don’t have to struggle to change your habits now to fit with who you are.

As David Cain of Raptitude writes in his article, Effort alone isn’t enough:“This isn’t a matter of ‘Fake it until you make it.’ You aren’t trying to fool anyone, just to cultivate, as often as possible, a present moment sense of what right now feels like when you’re the person who’s already doing what you want to do.”

The airplane lesson: Before you help others, you must first help yourself.

Any safety guidelines of airlines I have ever used are always said "Before you assist others, always put your oxygen mask on first".

On a summer day of 2013, I prepared a random to-do list for myself.

- To write one article published on a print magazine;

- To travel to two countries I have never been with non-traveling purpose and visit the country I used to be in if I have chance;

- To buy a new house for my mom by the time I'm 25

...

And I got my first article on a magazine written about a young AIESECer travelling along Vietnam before she was 20.

This being said, I managed to go exchange with AIESEC by applying for a job about marketing in Romania. With my whole heart, I created a portfolio telling how I made all the posters, thought about promotion channel, message to reach the target audience. I got match.

I got visa problem that required me to fly to Thailand to apply for visa.

This became my first trip of the year to a country I had never been.

I spent 4 5 days there, booked a cheap hotel far from the center, took taxi to the embassy while I had no idea how to communicate with Thai people. I got visa but I couldn't go.

This is the story you know.

The stories you don't know may be:

1. Before I flew to Thailand, I contacted President of a local chapter there asking for support, and Vice President of HR there asking for support, I got referral from VP exchange in national level at that time, I reached them by emails, facebooks, skype... no one replied me.

I asked a man who I had just met in Hanoi, nothing relates to AIESEC. He used to work for a department in Bangkok. Just one time we met in Hanoi at the beginning of 2013, he said to me "Ok, here is contact of Mr..., I told him about your case, just inform him when you send to the department these documents...".

Later on, I couldn't send the application to that man. But I really appreciated how nice he was to give me a hand.

2. The embassy asked for original documents. I asked the host local chapter in Romania whether they could send me the documents first, then I would pay them later when I was in Romania for the project. She said no, you had to transfer money to me, I would send documents to you after that.

I went back and forth to the bank but I couldn't do anything because there are some policies that does not allow a person to transfer money oversea (except you send money to the relatives abroad).

3. My mom spent a lot for my trip to Thailand, for my visa. I didn't go but come back. She lost money. She got high blood pressure. That was not just sunk cost. It was sunk cost for me, not my mom who did work really hard to earn this.

From that point of time, I learned about how difficult to transfer money abroad, what SWIFT code is. This is what no teacher told me at school. Simply it is. I appreciate what I learn and the network I have in AIESEC, but the world itself is just way bigger than AIESEC. More importantly, I need to consider my capacity, I should help myself before thinking about changing other lives.

Another story is my trip to Switzerland this November. Yes, apart from many reasons I persuaded myself to go, one of it is to realize my goal I set in 2013. I asked my leader to advance me the whole salary till the end of term which around 1000 USD to buy flight ticket.

In the conference where I was facilitator, there was one facilitator who was stopped by the border control to enter Switzerland because she invited an AIESEC intern to a country and that intern never comes back to his motherland.

The conference ended. Everything was fine. I decided to visit Ghent in 24 hours before flying back to Vietnam. In the morning of the departure date, I was late for the train, just half a second the train door closes, one by one. I was so afraid that again my business would affect the one who invited me to the conference. I just chased the train and flight by buying new journey, using taxi. In the end, it costed me nearly 2000 euros but I still missed the flight. The airport staff said sorry to me, the plan hadn't taken off but the boarding gate was closed. I waited at Geneva airport for 24 hours with no money in the pocket. I slept near the door of the toilet that I can use the power socket. I called my mom to transfer to me some more money, so I can buy new flight itinerary to come home.

My mom was pissed off. She asked me what I benefited from the trip while costing that much money. Now I'm still in debt.

Today I heard from my cousin that my mom told her she always divide her salary into two parts, one to buy food, clothes and things necessary for my family; one for me to travel. Something ain't right for me as a 23 person who is proud of what I got in the past.

At that time, I should have had a clear big picture of whom I will bother, not just a person. I should have considered my financial capacity and my mom's. This reinforces the lesson I learned last year about "Before you help others, you must first help yourself".